Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Penelope
My fave new song is Pinback's Penelope. It puts me in a good mood:)
I am off to the mountains. I'm pumped! I'll take a lot of pictures when I'm on top of the woorrld.Yay:)
This morning I had a meeting. I don't think that I have it in me to be aggressive or can this be learned and managed to be a balanced personality trait? Um, I don't know. It's a strange feeling though. Instead of being like...well, ok, I have to stay on top of things and be somewhat more assertive or aggressive. I'm just really easy to go along with things and assume that they will work out for the best. I've learned the hard way that the world isn't fair and that you can't just sit around and think the kinks will straighten out themselves. It's like anything else in life. It's WORK. There we go again with assuming that people will do the right thing and trusting them.BACK BONE>>>>it takes a lot to push my buttons and before I know it, it's too late and I've been scrrewwed. It's a bump in the road. I feel like a rag doll. I'm being tested here!
I guess when your pushed and pushed you do learn to become somewhat stronger and will be able to be aggressive when you need to be in certain situations. That, or you just take it and keep the role as having no backbone to stand up for yourself and make your own decisions. Then people look at you like a weenie. I've seen people make other people feel guilty to get them to do what they want or be what they want. The easy- to -go -along- with- anything- kind- of -people are easily manipulated. It's like a control thing and they shouldn't be in a relationship with such a shark. The sharks come in all forms too. It's strange. I think that people should bring out the best in one another. If you know in your heart that your not supposed to be with the other person then let it go. Let them go. Sometimes it's so hard, I know. Especially when there are children involved too. I feel like I can point it out in a snap in other couples. It's not my business, but I can learn for myself what I want by observing. Sometimes it's the girl that controls things and sometimes it's the guy. I just want to say..."Hey, this isn't healthy, so can you just break up?" The people that are made to feel guilty by the other party are actually really nice people and shouldn't be with those that make them feel obligated or have set expectations! Why give guilt trips? To each his own though. No relationship is perfect. I have seen some really good ones. Enviable ones! It's give and take. It's about not being selfish too.I feel that it's so important that you do what is right in your mind. Pleasing someone else can lead to self sacrifice. Self sacrifice leads to misery. A relationship is give and take plain and simple. I can testify. People need room to breathe when they are in a relationship. Some couples have that because they work at it and they care about one another. One may not be selfish in a relationship. There is no room for selfishness or it's just going to cause misery to one or the other.....Why am I on a roll about this today? Like anything else..It's work.
Things are being thrown in my path and bringing me down. It's a bump in the road. Life is good. I am remembering that! Yesterday I was watching Dr. Phil. The show focused on these two 25 year old girls that were addicted to drugs. They happened to be twins. They followed one of the girls around while she was turning tricks to get money to buy heroine or crack. She would get into random guy's cars and give them oral sex for money. She'd do maybe 5 to 10 a day. She walked the streets as a prostitute and called them her johns. There are people out there with horrible addictions and horrible life situations! It's like you know that it's out there, but when your faced with actually seeing it hurts your heart to see such terrible things that people are going through. These girls, and one of them in particular, just started experimenting as young adolescents with drugs. it started off with alcohol and weed and then led to acid, pills, and then at 15 years old they tried heroine. Just trying it that one time got them hooked for years. Heroine is an evil drug. It will take away your whole life. The twins are 25 now. One was in jail and the other was still out on the streets getting high all hours of the day. The filmed graphic scenes and it was pretty disturbing to see this girl, Sarah, degrade herself for money to buy drugs. As soon as she made the money it was spent. She was dirty and hadn't bathed in days. I'm surprised she isn't dead. This girl, Sarah, was a hardcore crack smoker and heroine shooter. I was just captivated by the story and I wanted to see if they could truly help her. This girl couldn't go any more than a few hours without smoking crack or shooting up. She was a walking bag of bones and her face was broken out with acne so bad. Her speech was slow and quivery from doing so many drugs. As I watched this, I couldn't help but think that I should not complain. I should be thankful for everything that I do have and quit focusing on what I don't. I was watching someone that had literally hit rock bottom. She and her sister chose a path without even really knowing what it was. It grabbed them and sucked them in.
She was willing to be helped. When she got to the airport she went to the bathroom and didn't come out. They went to get her and she was smoking crack in one of the stalls at the airport. That was the last drug use. Dr. Phil put her mother, her sister, and her in the Dr. Phil house. They were there together to get help. Their mother was there to support them. She was devastated when she watched the film of her daughter living on the streets and sleeping in the cemetery at night. As a mother I know that was so painful to see.I'm going to have to record this to see if she actually makes it. I hope that she does. For heroine to take over her life would be so sad.
I am off to the mountains. I'm pumped! I'll take a lot of pictures when I'm on top of the woorrld.Yay:)
This morning I had a meeting. I don't think that I have it in me to be aggressive or can this be learned and managed to be a balanced personality trait? Um, I don't know. It's a strange feeling though. Instead of being like...well, ok, I have to stay on top of things and be somewhat more assertive or aggressive. I'm just really easy to go along with things and assume that they will work out for the best. I've learned the hard way that the world isn't fair and that you can't just sit around and think the kinks will straighten out themselves. It's like anything else in life. It's WORK. There we go again with assuming that people will do the right thing and trusting them.BACK BONE>>>>it takes a lot to push my buttons and before I know it, it's too late and I've been scrrewwed. It's a bump in the road. I feel like a rag doll. I'm being tested here!
I guess when your pushed and pushed you do learn to become somewhat stronger and will be able to be aggressive when you need to be in certain situations. That, or you just take it and keep the role as having no backbone to stand up for yourself and make your own decisions. Then people look at you like a weenie. I've seen people make other people feel guilty to get them to do what they want or be what they want. The easy- to -go -along- with- anything- kind- of -people are easily manipulated. It's like a control thing and they shouldn't be in a relationship with such a shark. The sharks come in all forms too. It's strange. I think that people should bring out the best in one another. If you know in your heart that your not supposed to be with the other person then let it go. Let them go. Sometimes it's so hard, I know. Especially when there are children involved too. I feel like I can point it out in a snap in other couples. It's not my business, but I can learn for myself what I want by observing. Sometimes it's the girl that controls things and sometimes it's the guy. I just want to say..."Hey, this isn't healthy, so can you just break up?" The people that are made to feel guilty by the other party are actually really nice people and shouldn't be with those that make them feel obligated or have set expectations! Why give guilt trips? To each his own though. No relationship is perfect. I have seen some really good ones. Enviable ones! It's give and take. It's about not being selfish too.I feel that it's so important that you do what is right in your mind. Pleasing someone else can lead to self sacrifice. Self sacrifice leads to misery. A relationship is give and take plain and simple. I can testify. People need room to breathe when they are in a relationship. Some couples have that because they work at it and they care about one another. One may not be selfish in a relationship. There is no room for selfishness or it's just going to cause misery to one or the other.....Why am I on a roll about this today? Like anything else..It's work.
Things are being thrown in my path and bringing me down. It's a bump in the road. Life is good. I am remembering that! Yesterday I was watching Dr. Phil. The show focused on these two 25 year old girls that were addicted to drugs. They happened to be twins. They followed one of the girls around while she was turning tricks to get money to buy heroine or crack. She would get into random guy's cars and give them oral sex for money. She'd do maybe 5 to 10 a day. She walked the streets as a prostitute and called them her johns. There are people out there with horrible addictions and horrible life situations! It's like you know that it's out there, but when your faced with actually seeing it hurts your heart to see such terrible things that people are going through. These girls, and one of them in particular, just started experimenting as young adolescents with drugs. it started off with alcohol and weed and then led to acid, pills, and then at 15 years old they tried heroine. Just trying it that one time got them hooked for years. Heroine is an evil drug. It will take away your whole life. The twins are 25 now. One was in jail and the other was still out on the streets getting high all hours of the day. The filmed graphic scenes and it was pretty disturbing to see this girl, Sarah, degrade herself for money to buy drugs. As soon as she made the money it was spent. She was dirty and hadn't bathed in days. I'm surprised she isn't dead. This girl, Sarah, was a hardcore crack smoker and heroine shooter. I was just captivated by the story and I wanted to see if they could truly help her. This girl couldn't go any more than a few hours without smoking crack or shooting up. She was a walking bag of bones and her face was broken out with acne so bad. Her speech was slow and quivery from doing so many drugs. As I watched this, I couldn't help but think that I should not complain. I should be thankful for everything that I do have and quit focusing on what I don't. I was watching someone that had literally hit rock bottom. She and her sister chose a path without even really knowing what it was. It grabbed them and sucked them in.
She was willing to be helped. When she got to the airport she went to the bathroom and didn't come out. They went to get her and she was smoking crack in one of the stalls at the airport. That was the last drug use. Dr. Phil put her mother, her sister, and her in the Dr. Phil house. They were there together to get help. Their mother was there to support them. She was devastated when she watched the film of her daughter living on the streets and sleeping in the cemetery at night. As a mother I know that was so painful to see.I'm going to have to record this to see if she actually makes it. I hope that she does. For heroine to take over her life would be so sad.
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